Don't ask, Don't tell

His parents told him
He could be anything when he grew up a firefighter a superhero
a doctor a lawyer a teacher, anything...
but that
anything but gay

They sent him to a Christian therapist
who called her self christ but never said judge not
She fed him pills of denial methods of shame in bottles labeled hate

She told him say “No” to gay
She said NO one will ask if you never tell
His diagnosis was gay
The diagnosis of a sinner
The prescription read deny temptation, deny feelings, deny self and pray

So he did.
Bent knee and clenched fingers he begged the god he swore was deaf to make him different
to make him different so he could be the same as everyone else.
Make him different so he could walk the straight path of salvation

As long as they labeled him gay
He labeled himself failure
So he healed himself marine

He was told don’t ask don’t tell and you’ll be in the right, even if it feels wrong
Not the first or last time, his government would reward a lie

He stashed his heart in his boot and hist tongue in the closet

But his weapons couldn’t protect him from his dreams
His helmet wouldn’t guard thoughts of rough hands on rough faces and gentle touches from strong arms
The sand of an Iraqi desert clouded his vision but not his memory
Heavy artillery wouldn’t drown out the sound of his soul

His uniform exclaimed solider
His uniform was a lie
He stitched stars stripes and a small black flag to the inside his jacket
Because he was a POW
A prisoner to an enemy who gazed back at him in the mirror
and a prisoner to the land of the free.
It was home and he stayed brave, as his neighbors condemned him


The truth is that he spent his life dying
Dying for his parents conditional love
Dying for a country who considered him half a man and less than a citizen
Dying for a country he loved despite the fact they denied his love
Dying for a military who defined his life in shiny grey duct tape
Dying because freedom wasn’t free which is something he knew all too well
Dying for a world who cared more about the shape of his lover then of his heart
He was dying to live

A 3 cornered flag lay in trembling hangs
The hands that once held a baby boy
The hands that pushed him away
Too late to say I love you.
Or time to say goodbye
To the son she never really knew

Red white and blue draped his coffin
but the church bells did not ring freedom
Because the civil war for civil rights was not over

The 14th amendment promised that all citizens would be equal under the law”
the 14th amendment lied
silent is not equal
separate is not equal
acceptance is not equality

A broken gay dead man lie in a smiling straight man’s grave.
Here lies lies.